Hello, Gentle Reader(s?),
One of the things that every guitar owner must take into consideration when he or she makes an investment into a new instrument is – “Where am I going to keep this thing?”
This is not as easy a question to answer as one might think. Especially if you have a wife in the house. You can’t just make room for it on her side of the bed and expect her to be OK with it (wives can be funny that way). And you also can’t just pop it into the refrigerator and hope she doesn’t notice.
No, you have to be more imaginative than that.
Fortunately, you have me to show you how to be more imaginative than that…
After you have decided to display the instrument (assuming you are going to display it, that is – but what good is it to have such a fine piece of art unless you are going to make it visible to anybody who walks into the room – or even into the immediate neighborhood?), one of the first considerations to, well, consider, is the dignity with which the instrument is displayed.
Here are some things to think about NOT doing:
- Never, under any circumstances, keep your guitar sitting on the back of the toilet. This is not a dignified storage method. You can keep it in a closet, just not a water closet.
- Refrain, if at all possible, from keeping it on top of your wife’s grand piano. While this is certainly a more dignified and public place to display the instrument, the resulting marks on the piano may lead to some animated discussion between spouses.
- Don’t just leave it in a case somewhere. To do so completely negates the real reason for the acquisition in the first place – people will not think you are cool and groovy if they don’t see your guitar out in plane sight. That’s because they won’t know you have it. (Yes, it’s true. You don’t have to know how to play the instrument as long as company sees it and THINKS you can play it.)
Now, The best way I can think of to demonstrate the proper method(s) of displaying your guitar or collection of guitars is to show you what I have done over the years.
The Guitar Love Seat
The Original Guitar Wall:
The Guitar Wall – Fuller, Cooler and Groovier
Third attempt, part B:
The Guitar Wall and Floor
Third attempt, part C:
The Charred Guitar Wall
Third attempt, part C (cont’d):
The Empty Guitar Wall
The Guitar Driveway
The First Replacement Guitar Wall
The Guitar Closet
Seventh attempt, fourteen months later (last week):
The Second Replacement Guitar Wall
Seventh attempt, part B:
The Guitar Wall and Floor
*On a sad note, Monty (pet snake) did not survive the fire, either. I had hoped for a long and happy life for him and used to joke that I would turn him into a guitar strap when he passed. However, I couldn’t bring myself to do that when we found him and we buried him under a tree (see “Guitar Driveway” above), next to the driveway. Rest well, Monty. I really do miss you…