What you said: “I set the alarm for 6:00 because I have a crock pot dinner to make.”

What I heard: “I set the alarm for 6:00 because I have a cough drop in my neck.”

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What you said:  “They’ll probably want me to put sheets on their bed.”

What I heard:  “Ted scroogled the feet time good.”

What you said: “Finally… some deer appreciators.”

What I heard: “Simon lives in dirt with fish haters.”

What she said: “You have to read Megan’s reply.”

What I heard:  “I’ve been inebriated for five.”