Guitar Storage Evolution

October 26, 2017

Hello, Gentle Reader(s?),

One of the things that every guitar owner must take into consideration when he or she makes an investment into a new instrument is – “Where am I going to keep this thing?”

This is not as easy a question to answer as one might think. Especially if you have a wife in the house. You can’t just make room for it on her side of the bed and expect her to be OK with it (wives can be funny that way). And you also can’t just pop it into the refrigerator and hope she doesn’t notice.  

No, you have to be more imaginative than that. 

Fortunately, you have me to show you how to be more imaginative than that…

After you have decided to display the instrument (assuming you are going to display it, that is – but what good is it to have such a fine piece of art unless you are going to make it visible to anybody who walks into the room – or even into the immediate neighborhood?), one of the first considerations to, well, consider, is the dignity with which the instrument is displayed.

Here are some things to think about NOT doing:

  1. Never, under any circumstances, keep your guitar sitting on the back of the toilet. This is not a dignified storage method. You can keep it in a closet, just not a water closet.
  2. Refrain, if at all possible, from keeping it on top of your wife’s grand piano. While this is certainly a more dignified and public place to display the instrument, the resulting marks on the piano may lead to some animated discussion between spouses. 
  3. Don’t just leave it in a case somewhere. To do so completely negates the real reason for the acquisition in the first place – people will not think you are cool and groovy if they don’t see your guitar out in plane sight. That’s because they won’t know you have it. (Yes, it’s true. You don’t have to know how to play the instrument as long as company sees it and THINKS you can play it.)

Now, The best way I can think of to demonstrate the proper method(s) of displaying your guitar or collection of guitars is to show you what I have done over the years.

First attempt:

The Guitar Love Seat

Nice try, but brilliant failure.

While this presentation looks nice, and even comfortable, it was not a permanent solution. The issue was that I either had to 1) take them down when company came (removing the “You play the guitar? You are soo cool and groovy!” display factor) or 2) try to squeeze everybody onto the piano bench to visit.

Second Attempt:

The Original Guitar Wall:

This, actually, worked pretty well for awhile. The only real issue was the sparse population as evidenced by all of the extra space on either end of the line of instruments.

Third attempt:

The Guitar Wall – Fuller, Cooler and Groovier

While this rendition of the wall was certainly cooler and groovier, it still lacked a couple instruments because there wasn’t enough room to hang all of the available instruments… Of course, there was room on the adjacent wall for the snake, so it wasn’t all bad.*

Third attempt, part B:

The Guitar Wall and Floor

Even though they wouldn’t all fit on the wall, a small investment in guitar stands enabled the inclusion of two more instruments. I had completed the display of coolness and groovyness…

Third attempt, part C:

The Charred Guitar Wall

Unfortunately, Third attempt, part B didn’t endure the fire…

Third attempt, part C (cont’d):

The Empty Guitar Wall

This isn’t as cool and groovy as it was when there was an actual room around the wall and actual guitars available. But it DID lead to…

Fourth attempt:

The Guitar Driveway

Sadly, none of these instruments survived the fire. The firefighters, though, laid what was left alongside the driveway in a rather respectful manner…

Fifth attempt:

The First Replacement Guitar Wall

14 months later, most of the instruments had been replaced, the house had been replaced and the Guitar Wall had been replaced… All was good. For about five years…

Sixth attempt:

The Guitar Closet

When you move, you have to make adjustments…

Seventh attempt, fourteen months later (last week):

The Second Replacement Guitar Wall

When you have a guitar closet, it’s not cool or groovy because nobody can see the instruments. Especially you. When you can’t see the instruments, you don’t play them. When you don’t play them, you get rusty and your caps (calluses) go away. And when you pick one up, your fingers hurt. They might even bleed. You can’t leave the instruments in the closet…

Seventh attempt, part B:

The Guitar Wall and Floor

When you don’t have enough wall space, you go back to the floor…

*On a sad note, Monty (pet snake) did not survive the fire, either. I had hoped for a long and happy life for him and used to joke that I would turn him into a guitar strap when he passed. However, I couldn’t bring myself to do that when we found him and we buried him under a tree (see “Guitar Driveway” above), next to the driveway. Rest well, Monty. I really do miss you… 

Montgomery Pyth

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Infamy  (Noun, Plural infamies)

The state of being known for some bad quality or deed: A day that will live in infamy

  • An evil or wicked act: one of history’s greatest infamies

Today, July 24, a day that will live, not in Infamy, but in Famy (I’m thinking that Famy would be the opposite of Infamy).

That being the case:

Famy (Noun, Plural Famies)

The state of being known for some perfectly excellent quality or deed: A day that will live in famy

  • A good or perfectly excellent act: One of history’s greatest famies 

(No, there is no actual English word, famy. Yes, I made up the definition.) See all the RED underlines?)

So, let’s look at some pretty impressive things that happened on this date, July 24, in history, shall we?

 

  • 1132 Battle of Nocera between Ranulf II of Alife and Roger II of Sicily 
  • 1411 Battle of Harlaw, one of the bloodiest battles in Scotland, takes place
  • 1487 Citizens of Leeuwarden, Nethernakds, rebel against ban on foreign beer
  • 1534 Jacques Cartier lands in Canada, claims it for France
  • 1567 Mary Queen of Scots is forced to abdicate; her 1-year-old son becomes King James VI of Scots
  • 1577 Spanish army/German mercenaries conquer Namur
  • 1577 Treason of Don Juan in Brussels
  • 1581 States of Holland/Zealand recognized by Wiliam of Orange
  • 1701 Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac founds trading post at Ft Pontchartrain, which later becomes the city of Detroit
  • 1824 Harrisburg Pennsylvanian newspaper publishes results of 1st public opinion poll, with a clear lead for Andrew Jackson
  • 1832 Benjamin Bonneville leads the first wagon train across the Rocky Mountains by Wyoming’s South Pass
  • 1833 HMS Beagle departs Maldonado Uruguay
  • 1847 Rotary-type printing press patents by Richard March Hoe, NYC 
  • 1851 Window tax abolished in Britain
  • 1866 Tennessee becomes 1st Confederate state readmitted to Union
  • 1870 1st trans-US rail service begins
  • 1911 Cleve’s League Park hosts 1st unofficial ML All Star game (benefit game for Addie Joss’ family). Cleveland Naps lose to All Stars 5-3
  • 1911 American explorer Hiram Bingham discovers Machu Picchu, the Lost City of the Incas
  •  1915 Excursion ship Eastland capsizes in Lake Michigan, 852 die
  • 1929 NY to SF foot race ends (2½ months) winner is 60 year old Monteverde
  • 1936 118°F (48°C), Minden, Nebraska (state record)
  • 1941 Red Sox Lefty Grove, 41, wins his 300th game
  • 1949 Indian pitcher Bob Lemon hits 2 HRs to beat Senators, 7-5
  • 1953 KEYT TV channel 3 in Santa Barbara, CA (ABC) begins broadcasting
  • 1959 500,000th Dutch TV set registered
  • 1961 Beginning of a trend, a US commercial plane is hijacked to Cuba
  • 1961 Roger Maris hits 4 home runs, in a doubleheader
  • 1965 Bob Dylan release “Like a Rolling Stone”
  • 1967 The Beatles sign a petition in Times to legalize marijuana
  • 1968 Hoyt Wilhelm’s 907th breaks Cy Young’s record for pitching appearances
  • 1969 Apollo 11 returns to Earth
  • 1972 Jigme Singye Wangchuk becomes king of Bhutan at 16

There are too many events to list everything, but I think you get the picture. 

There is, however, one event that happened on this date in 1971 which, to my mind anyway, blows past all of these events combined. And it is the one thing that qualifies for the description of “Famy (as defined above). 

July 24, 1971 Judith Joy French becomes Judith Joy Kammerer.

Happy Anniversary to you, my loving, beautiful, amazing, spectacular, awesome, groovy wife…

wedding party

cake.jpg

Time, once again, for me to put something other than something I did myself up here. Love this…

I originally posted this 12/1/2016 on my Facebook page. Thought it fit… 

NBA Friends – Merry Christmas! Some of you will remember this and some of you won’t. Some of you will know some of the people in here and , maybe not others. If you were there, you know what a blast this was to do. If you weren’t, try to imagine… And eat your heart out! LOL
Back in 1994, the Beach Boys played a concert after a Padres game at Jack Murphy Stadium. Channel 8 decided to put together a contest and asked for people/groups to submit videos of them performing Barbara Ann. The winner(s) would perform the song on stage with the Beach Boys at the concert!
Retired Corporate Mom, Barbara Brumfield, thought it would be fun for us to submit an entry, so she showed up one day with her movie camera and asked for volunteers.
Nobody wanted to do it (yeah – right!) so we got some ideas together, wrote down the words and shot three takes. Then we had to get back to work.
They get better as the the number of takes increases.
The third one is the one we submitted.

Did we win? We were sooooooo close! 

Who won?

Well… It was some drunk guy. Knee deep in the Pacific Ocean. Wearing a straw hat. Playing a ukulele… Really.

And then he never showed up for the ball game or performance!!

Oh well – we had a ton of fun doing it!  

Anyway, enjoy…

I really like Leonard Cohen’s song “Hallelujah”. A lot. So I scribbled down my own words for Christmas and almost made them fit into the melody.

So, here it is…

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Optimal Number of Guitars

See? Einstein really was a genius…