Category: The ??? Me
Shelter In Place Goals/Accomplishments For The SIP Week Of April 27 – May 1
Well, SIP continues and I hope that all of my reader(s?) are doing OK. I know it’s a bit stressful for everyone – maybe even boring in some cases.
That being the case, I thought that I might be able to help out with some ideas to help combat the boredom a bit by letting you know how I am keeping busy.
To begin, let me assure you that we are doing fine. Fortunately, Judy is still working at the hospital, which leaves me time to accomplish a lot of things around the homestead.
Monday, I discovered that *tinnitus notwithstanding, I was able to actually hear my beard growing! It’s an amazing sound if you’ve never heard it.
*Tuesday, I placed an ice cube in a bowl, set it on the coffee table in front of the TV, stared at it and melted it using only my brainpower. (It DID take longer than I thought it would, but at least I was able to add that information to my already extensive psychic knowledge. Not to mention the fact that I can now check that one off my bucket list.)
*In the interest of full disclosure, I actually got the idea for this from a meme I saw on the interwebs and it seemed like something I could do so I decided to give it a shot. I have to say IT WORKS!
Wednesday, I started my truck:
Thursday, I have actually taken two showers. I am a very clean man, and my clothing (especially my underwear) is exceedingly grateful.
Friday, I’m trying to decide whether to read poetry to the Front Porch Fishes; get up extra early to track and narrate the progress of the pond lilies opening-up
; or, perhaps, a combination of the two. It’s so hard to decide…
Well, I hope that gives you some good ideas on things to try!
Take care (being serious, here)!
A Most Exciting Day Of Quarantine
I haven’t put gas in my truck in weeks. Over a month, actually, and it was almost down to half full (I like to think positively). So, about 15 minutes ago, I went out and put almost half a tank of gas to bring it back up to full.
Two positives, here:
1 – It was the most exciting thing I’ve done today and
2 – I made sure to get it done before the prices fall again.
I would say, “Be still my heart,” but I’m afraid that it might…
Badly In Need…
Badly in need of a haircut… And I don’t have a bowl that will fit my head…
I almost shaved yesterday. I know I’m going to sometime. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon. And for the rest of my life…
Wondering Aimlessly 4: Won’t You Have A Seat?
I really prefer standing to sitting when I get the chance. I’m not a fan of sitting. People don’t seem to understand that, and when I am asked why I don’t sit down, I just tell them that I can’t stand sitting… BK
Opening Scenes to Books That I will Never Write – Chapter 8: What Day Is It?
One day, Adam and Eve were strolling along enjoying the beautiful garden in which they lived. As they walked, they discussed their lives together and how every day was perfect when it dawned on Eve that time just, sort of, ran together.
After a few minutes of quiet contemplation, she turned to her husband and asked, “Adam, do you know what day it is?” Adam thought for a minute and replied, “Of course, my love. Don’t you?” “No, my poopywoopykins, I really don’t. The days all run together and it’s hard to remember which one is which. It’s almost as if we are retired, or something.”
Adam considered her response for a moment, “Why, my little sweetums,” he said, “it’s New Years, Eve.”
Happy New Year!
Things That Most People Don’t Know – Thing One: The Hawaiian Islands
The Hawaiian Islands are actually drifting a couple of inches toward Japan each year. If the Japanese had been patient for a few million years, we might have avoided WWII.
Thanks for tuning in
How To Get A Bug Off Your Windshield While The Car Is On The Highway
A few years ago, Judy and I were driving home on Hwy. 41 when I noticed a tarantula on the upper corner passenger side of the window of the car. Judy rolled the window down to try to get rid of it and it got sucked into the car.
I continued driving and she was trying to see where it went, but couldn’t find it, so we thought it had blown off, outside the car.
A few minutes later, I felt something crawling up my leg under my jeans, and looked down – there was a lump moving up the inside of my pants leg…
Yep – it was the tarantula inside my pants. I quickly pulled over at the first opportunity, got out, ran to the other side of the car and jumped up and down while un-doing my pants until the thing (the tarantula, I mean) fell out onto the ground.
It really freaked Judy out and I wasn’t too happy about it, either. But it was super hilarious after it was over.
She doesn’t open the window to shake bugs off the car anymore…
The Truth About Me Comes Out…
A couple of days ago I did something that I almost never do. I did one of those copy and paste things on Facebook.
Unfortunately, this has lead to the exposition of at least one of my life’s most closely guarded secrets. Things I have been afraid to reveal for reasons that – well, read below…
As you can see, I got a few responses from friends and relatives around the country, mostly adhering to the ‘one word’ part of the project, and those that added more didn’t do too badly.
And then this showed up…
I was, to say the least, surprised. Here’s why…
Dear Tom, I love you, man. I have always loved you. I will always love you. But now you have revealed, for all of the world to see, my most closely held secret, and it hurts.
I have never spoken of my heroic deeds within the space program. I have always painted myself as your normal, every day (albeit abnormally handsome) all American guy. I had hoped to have people love me for my “ordinariness” – never suspecting my extraordinary accomplishments on Earth, in space and under the sea.
I wished that my self-sacrificing actions in singlehandedly saving the world from complete and utter destruction at the hands of an, (thus far, known only to the three of us) enemy might stay hidden in the dark recesses of our memories.
But now you have exposed a small hint of my true greatness, and I fear that people will look at me differently… Not loving me for who I pretend to be, but for who I truly am.
Sadly, I will now have to practice making my signature semi-legible for all of the autograph seekers about to invade my space. And then there are the Paparazzi – who knows what to expect from them…
I could request that everybody who reads your description of how we first met take it as a brilliant and successful attempt at humor, however, by the time they get to the end of your post, they will have realized that “there was always something ‘different’ about” me and that your report can only be taken seriously and not as a humorous joke meant to elicit laughter.
As I said in the beginning, I still love you, man…
PS – Your family and friends should know about your own heroics, Tom. Have you told them about the “volcanic surface of Jupiter” incident? I didn’t think so…
Yes, It’s True…
Yes, it’s true. I have always been this handsome.