Positively Shocking

May 11, 2020

I’m so positive that if a negative person came around me they would be in for a huge shock. But they might come out of it more grounded.   –   The Very William H. Kammerer, Jr., Esq. (Not)

 

Ikea Puzzles

April 19, 2020

Does Ikea sell 1,000 piece puzzles already assembled?

Hmmm…

I refuse to acknowledge even the remotest possibility that a fitted sheet can be re-folded the way it was when you bought the thing. In fact, I don’t believe it was ever folded that way in the first place. I think they inject some sort of drug into the package that makes you think it’s folded.

BK

The astounding lack of structural integrity of the set is more than compensated for by the courageous lack of fear of the substantial use of Duct Tape.

BK

Wow… Why is it so much later than it is?

BK

Imitation may be the best form of flattery, but it’s the worst form of individuality…

I’m uncomfortable in large crowds especially when I’m by myself, in which case, I guess, there aren’t a lot of people around so why be uncomfortable?

Given the choice between eating fish and sitting on a cactus, I would probably select the fish… But not by much..

Sometimes you have to stub your toe to realize that it doesn’t hurt when you don’t…

If you look for it, you can find humor in almost any situation, and if you do, it can be a great stress relief.  That has really come in handy on many occasions…

BK

Taking the path of least resistance only leads to a life of least virtue, least integrity, least trustworthiness, least growth, least accomplishment, and least reward. If any. 

See? I do have my serious moments…

BK

The amount of effort one is willing to expend in the preparation of breakfast is directly proportional to the amount of hunger one is experiencing at that particular moment. 

BK

Some days I’m not the sharpest knife in the electrical outlet…

BK

About the only thing I hate more than auto-correct is fat-finger-syndrome. Mostly because I can’t blame it on auto-correct.

BK

The Hawaiian Islands are actually drifting a couple of inches toward Japan each year. If the Japanese had been patient for a few million years, we might have avoided WWII.

BK

Thanks for tuning in