Wow… Why is it so much later than it is?

BK

Imitation may be the best form of flattery, but it’s the worst form of individuality…

I’m uncomfortable in large crowds especially when I’m by myself, in which case, I guess, there aren’t a lot of people around so why be uncomfortable?

Given the choice between eating fish and sitting on a cactus, I would probably select the fish… But not by much..

Sometimes you have to stub your toe to realize that it doesn’t hurt when you don’t…

If you look for it, you can find humor in almost any situation, and if you do, it can be a great stress relief.  That has really come in handy on many occasions…

BK

Taking the path of least resistance only leads to a life of least virtue, least integrity, least trustworthiness, least growth, least accomplishment, and least reward. If any. 

See? I do have my serious moments…

BK

The amount of effort one is willing to expend in the preparation of breakfast is directly proportional to the amount of hunger one is experiencing at that particular moment. 

BK

Some days I’m not the sharpest knife in the electrical outlet…

BK

About the only thing I hate more than auto-correct is fat-finger-syndrome. Mostly because I can’t blame it on auto-correct.

BK

The Hawaiian Islands are actually drifting a couple of inches toward Japan each year. If the Japanese had been patient for a few million years, we might have avoided WWII.

BK

Thanks for tuning in

** ” How could something so simple be so hard?”

Here, another great lesson in life was revealed to me:  The words “Simple” and “Easy” are not synonyms.  I don’t even think the actual definitions share any letters in common.  I wanted them to be the same, but the best I could do was to make up my own definition of each…  After much contemplation, I decided that:

  • The concept of Simplicity is conceptual
  • The concept of Easiness is procedural

For instance:

  • The concept of a G, C , D chord progression is simple, not confusing.
  • The process of putting them together on the fret board of a guitar for the first time is hard, not easy.

So that (applying the Bill Kammerer “’swapping the order’ law of equality” to the second statement):

  • Simple = Not Confusing
  • Easy = Not Hard

By doing this, I was at least able to come up with definitions that shared a common word: 

“Not.”

The only thing that I could determine about the mutual sameness of the two concepts is that they are “NOT” the same.

Therefore:  Simple ≠ Easy

 

“…Yeah, I know… Me, too…  I was practically dumbstruck… nearly completely without words.  And the only words I could think of at that precise moment was a two-part phrase beginning with the word “holy” that had actually gotten my mouth washed out with soap a few years earlier… 

“With that event still fresh in my memory, I decided that silence is the better part of swearing, so, silent I remained…” – The Very William H. Kammerer, Jr, Esq. (not)

You never fully appreciate clean underwear until the day after you take ExLax the night before a long hike in Yosemite… – The Very William H. Kammerer, Jr. Esq. (not,)

 

(*And to answer your question: No. But it was close.)

Alternative Cuss Words

April 11, 2018

Remember when I introduced you to Shakespearian Insults? Well, now you have a chance to learn how to cuss without getting your mouth washed out with soap. (Hmmm… It seems that nowadays, that’s not a punishment, but some sort of competition.)

No longer do you have to resort to disgustingly bad language when you need to express frustration, anger, surprise, shock or simply the need to feel like a real “grownup”. 

I have to give credit to my beautiful niece, Stephany, for providing this list to me. (Although, truth be told, I learned most of these in the Navy.)

alternative cuss words.jpg