The New Expletive

September 10, 2020

Hello, again, Gentle Reader(s?),

Yes, it’s time, once again, for you to make a decision on whether or not to continue reading a post from me. I’ll give you a minute to decide…

Still here? OK! We shall proceed.

Let’s take a moment to review this year…

Never mind – let’s not.

All in all, though, a pretty tough year for ALL of us, and it is hard to come up with something positive to say about this year.

But, as some of you may suspect, I try to be positive in any situation (we are currently engulfed by smoke and ashes, just a little less than a mile from the “evacuation warning” perimeter made possible by the Creek Fire, here in the Sierra Mountains).

In my efforts to find something positive to say about the entire year, I have come up with this…

Many of us are familiar with bad words. Some of them are really nasty. You may even remember my previous post on “Alternative Cuss Words“.  And I would venture to guess that you remember that now-famous line, uttered by Ralphie, from the movie, A Christmas Story” (One of my top two favorite films of all time)…

Well, I have, I believe, come up with a new and even BETTER “THE word. The BIG one. The QUEEN MOTHER of dirty words. The 2- – – word.”

Yes, that’s right. Those of us who abhor hearing or reading the “f- – -“, or “s- – -” or “(input your – – – -‘s here) words in everyday speech and correspondence may now have a chance to NOT hear or read those – – – -s.

Think of the possibilities:

“Ooooh twweeeennnntttyyy-nnniiiiinnnnnneteeeeeeennnnn! Only I didn’t say nineteen.”

“Well, we sure 2- – -‘d that up!”

Then, of course, there’s the famous greeting,

“Hey, m- – – – -2- – -“!

See? You can always find something positive in just about any situation. Even if nobody agrees with you…

Really, though, take care, be safe, and look for the positive – even though it’s well hidden, it’s there…

Honest…

BK

Positively Shocking

May 11, 2020

I’m so positive that if a negative person came around me they would be in for a huge shock. But they might come out of it more grounded.   –   The Very William H. Kammerer, Jr., Esq. (Not)

 

Ikea Puzzles

April 19, 2020

Does Ikea sell 1,000 piece puzzles already assembled?

Hmmm…

I refuse to acknowledge even the remotest possibility that a fitted sheet can be re-folded the way it was when you bought the thing. In fact, I don’t believe it was ever folded that way in the first place. I think they inject some sort of drug into the package that makes you think it’s folded.

BK

The astounding lack of structural integrity of the set is more than compensated for by the courageous lack of fear of the substantial use of Duct Tape.

BK

Hello, Again, Gentle Reader(s?),

Yes, it is, once again, time for another lesson in the magnificent world of… Language

Language is, to me, anyway, an interesting thing. Just think of all the things we could not do without  Language. (For your benefit, I have provided a partial list of those things below.)

  1. Talk
  2. Listen to somebody talking
  3. Get mad at somebody for something they said
  4. Get mad at somebody for something they didn’t say but should have said
  5. Put in your  earbuds and turn up the music when somebody obnoxious walks into the room
  6. Write a letter, a note, an email or even a text message
  7. Receive unsolicited sales calls
  8. And, possibly, the most tragic consequence of all, you would not be reading this blog po

Wow… Why is it so much later than it is?

BK

Imitation may be the best form of flattery, but it’s the worst form of individuality…

I’m uncomfortable in large crowds especially when I’m by myself, in which case, I guess, there aren’t a lot of people around so why be uncomfortable?

Given the choice between eating fish and sitting on a cactus, I would probably select the fish… But not by much..

Sometimes you have to stub your toe to realize that it doesn’t hurt when you don’t…

If you look for it, you can find humor in almost any situation, and if you do, it can be a great stress relief.  That has really come in handy on many occasions…

BK

Taking the path of least resistance only leads to a life of least virtue, least integrity, least trustworthiness, least growth, least accomplishment, and least reward. If any. 

See? I do have my serious moments…

BK

The amount of effort one is willing to expend in the preparation of breakfast is directly proportional to the amount of hunger one is experiencing at that particular moment. 

BK

Some days I’m not the sharpest knife in the electrical outlet…

BK