The Real Truth…

People think I got my hair from my dad. The truth is that I got it from my brothers… Buaaahahahahahahahaha…



My Comments On The 48th Super Bowl…

While I haven’t officially received any requests to summarize my Superbowl experience from last night, in anticipation of that request coming in from one or more of my dozen Facebook friends, I am going to go ahead and do so  by gathering my comments into one place.

I will also include some explanation, so you have a sense of what was happening to elicit my thoughts on the game.

Ready… Begin!

After the first 4 seconds of last night’s game, I thought to myself, “maybe if I’m not watching, it will get better,” so I put up the following status on Facebook and went into another room to read some more of my Clive Cussler novel. 


After what seemed like an inordinately few minutes, my curiosity got the better of me and I picked up my iPhone and asked Susan Bennett (more commonly known as Seri) to please tell me the current score.

Imagine my surprise when she responded that the score was 22 – 0 in favor of the Seahawks… 

It was at this point that I realized that I was missing out on an historic opportunity to engage in the art of Snark, and, as befits one of my personality, I decided to go watch the rest of the game. 

And report my findings via my cellular telephone.

Let’s pick up where Troy Aikman asks Joe Buck,  “What do the Denver Broncos have to do to get back into this game?”…


Then, the Bronco special teams made a “nice pickup” off a bad bounce on (yet another) Seattle kick off (something for which they are paid millions of dollars to do, by the way), and the Fox announcer declared in amazement “That was a nice pickup!”…


And then something happened that defies imagination… Somebody in a blue uniform got the ball, walked directly (and successively) into the arms of FOUR (maybe more) guys in orange uniforms and then walked out of them again and ended up running 4,000 yards for – wait for it – wait for it – wait for it – a touchdown. 


By now, we were starting the 4th quarter, and I began what I will refer to as my countdown to final obliteration…


And then – something completely expected occurred – Seattle got another touchdown. Ho hum… How did that happen?

I continued with my countdown…


And then, lamentation began to creep into my soul…


So, for the sake of my own sanity, I resumed my countdown. Again…


At the 2 minute mark a bit of desperation began to slither its way in, but I pushed forward with my countdown…


And with 6 seconds still left to go…


It was over. Done with. Finished. The annihilation was complete. 

So, in my own inimitable way, I moved on to post game commentary…

Stage 1: Try to think of something else to celebrate. Well, in addition to it being my Mother-In-Law’s 100th birthday, it’s also Groundhog Day…


Stage 2: That was pleasant, but I had to get back to the game. So I found this…


It was sadistic. It was awful. It was mean.

I loved it.

But in the end,

1. I have to give the Seahawks their due…


2. I have to be grateful for the blessings I have…



3. I have to do something for the Broncos…


I figure it can’t hurt.

Are You Ready For Some Football? My Super Bowl Pick…

Friend: “So, Bill, who are you rooting for in the Super Bowl?”

Me:  “You mean, ‘who do I want to win it’?”

Friend:  “Yes, who do you want to win the Super Bowl?”

Me:  “The 49ers.”

Friend:  “Uh… You do realize that they aren’t in the Super Bowl this year, don’t you?”

Me:  “Yes. But you didn’t ask me who was in it, you asked me who I wanted to win it. The fact that the 49ers aren’t playing doesn’t change the fact that I want them to win it.”

Friend:  “OK. Of the two teams who are actually playing, who do you want to win?”

Me:  “The Broncos.”

Friend: “Seriously? The Broncos? They are AFC! If you’re a 49er fan, you should be rooting for the NFC team – the Seahawks!”

Me:  “I’m also a Chargers fan, and they are AFC.”

Friend:  “But they aren’t playing, either.”

Me:  “That’s right. And if they were, they would be horribly massacred.”

Friend:  “So?”

Me:  “So that makes them the underdog, and I like rooting for the underdog – unless the 49ers are the overdog.”

Friend:  “But -“

Me:  “And since the Chargers aren’t in it to get massacred, and the 49ers aren’t in it to massacre them, I have to go for the next best thing and root for the surrogate underdog.”

Friend:  “But the Broncos are favored by two points – they  aren’t the underdog.”

Me:  “But they are AFC along with the Chargers.”

Friend:  “That makes no sense. It’s illogical.”

Me:  “It’s football. When did football fans become logical?”


Go Broncos!