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As I have progressed in age, I have learned that some days are more flatulent than others, and some days are more flatulent than those days… I believe that this is one of the latter mentioned days… – The Very William H. Kammerer, Jr. Esq. (not,)
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Category: The Geezer Me
When you wake Up In The Middle Of The Night And Realize That Something Is Just Not Right…
I just woke up with a start and realized it’s Tuesday morning at 2:57 AM. That’s not unusual because Tuesday at 2:57 AM happens almost every week at our house.
I also just realized that that means that last night was Monday night. Monday night also occurs most weeks.
Sadly, I also just remembered is that I was supposed to go to choir rehearsal Monday night at 7:00 PM.
I honestly don’t remember exactly what I was doing at 7:00 PM last night. I was either slipping into a hot bathtub with a load of Epsom salts or I was watching the season one (from 1961) finale of Supercar starring Mike Mercury, but I am quite certain that I was not at the Church singing.
I should probably send some sort of apology to our choir director for gelling on choir practice. I do, however, think I have a couple of pretty good excuses reasons for forgetting.
- I really needed the Epsom salts. Really.
- I distinctly remember not seeing the season one finale of Supercar, starring Mike Mercury when I was ten years old. That has haunted me for the last fifty-eight years and I had a chance to get rid of my recurring nightmares about having not done so.
Oh, I suppose it could be attributed to some sort of senior moment thing, but I like my reasons better.
At any rate, Now I’m up and awake. Normally, I would go back to bed and lay there in the dark for an hour or so and wonder why I am not asleep. However, these are not normal times and I’m not sure how that would work out.
Especially since I just remembered that I also missed the season two (from 1962) premiere of Supercar, starring Mike Mercury.
Popcorn, anyone? Anyone? Anyone at all?
The Geezer Chronicles – 2 – Things Best Learned The Easy Way – Thing Two – Be Prepared
That feeling you get when…
- It’s 3:15 in the morning
- You took Exlax the night before
- You are properly situated for, and progressing nicely in, the event
- You turn your head to the left and
- This is what you see…
The Geezer Chronicles – 1: How to be a successful Geezer – Chapter One
Inspired by my dear Friend, Clyde Farnsworth – Thank you, Clyde, for opening the door. I feel obligated to go through…
It’s hard for me to believe that this time next month I will be fairly well beyond twelve years old. But I will also be fairly well not quite approaching three hundred and sixty-eight years old, so I suppose that I can take comfort in my relative youth.
As I approach my “adult” years, I find that many of my friends are, shall I say, more mature than I. Many of them are at about equal to my own level of “maturity”. And there are a couple who are lagging behind the number of my own accumulated annual celebrations.
I have also noted, with some trepidation, that some of the same guys are beginning to be referred to as “Geezers”.
I was first enlightened to this by my aforementioned neighbor and friend, Clyde. (Please see the above grateful attribution.)
Clyde started referring to himself as a geezer in his annual “Christmas Letter” (email) recently. He also included some of the symptoms evident in men who have achieved that level of sophistication (geezerhood)…
One of the things of which I have (through observation) recently become aware is the propensity to absentmindedness in some of the more mature (older) members of my circle of companions in this adventure called “Life”.
Imagine my surprise when I figured out that I had recently displayed (without even trying) my own abilities in this area.
This, along with Clyde’s motivating Christmas email, has inspired me to find a way to help actual geezers believe that I can still be associated with them on a friendship basis, even though I am only fairly well beyond twelve years old.
Hence, to that end, I have decided to open up to them in an effort to gain their respect, trust and acceptance…
Dear Geezers,
It seems that hanging around you has caused me to geez a bit myself.
Geez #1) Yesterday, Judy and I pulled into a parking place at the church. I got out of the car, locked the doors and started walking up to the front doors. Meanwhile, I noticed that Judy was not beside me – she was standing ten feet behind me, staring.
At me.
I asked her what was wrong and she said, “you do know that you left the car running, don’t you?”.
Needless to say, I was surprised. Fortunately, she had her keys and unlocked the car so I could get in and turn off the engine.
I promised to be more careful…
Geez #2) After church, we went out to breakfast at Katie’s Country Kitchen. After parking, I got out of the car, locked the doors and started walking up to the entry door.
Meanwhile, I noticed that Judy was not beside me – she was standing ten feet behind me, staring.
At me.
I asked her what was wrong and she said, “you do know that you left the car running, don’t you?”.
Needless to say, I was surprised. Fortunately, she had her keys and unlocked the car so I could get in and turn off the engine.
I promised to be more careful…
Repeat as needed…
Love,
Bill
Things With Six Strings 