One of the many positive things about the weather cooling down this time of year is that my T-Shirts pass the smell test for an extended number of days. – The Very William H. Kammerer, Esq. (not)
Category: The Fashionable Me
I believe that I have just created the worst case of Haircut Self-Infliction in the history of self-inflicted haircuts…
Yet Another…
Yet another shirt passes the smell test.
The Fashionable Me: Part Three – One Of Those Other Days
Some days I feel more handsome than on other days. This appears to be one of those other days…
I know… Perhaps if I smile it will get better…
Oh well…
Look Out! He Has A Scissors!
Yet another successful session of self-inflicted nostril follicle trimming… Judy will be pleased.
Sigh…
Alas, I grow weary of finding nostril hairs in my moustache…
What I would Have Looked Like 100 Years Ago
Well, my cousin did this thing about what she would have looked like 100 years ago. Basically, you go to a website and log in using your Facebook account. The site then takes a look at your profile picture, analyzes and rewinds your appearance back to what it thinks you would have looked like 100 years ago and displays the you that would have been.
Apparently, I was quite handsome, well loved, fashionable and would have had less hair back then. Also, I brought all of these qualities with me when I kicked the bucket and started my new life.
And It’s amazing that I reincarnated as Half Dome.
The Fashionable Me: Part two – When to Get A Haircut: How to Make A Decision
Hello again, Gentle Reader… I have returned with, yet, another lesson on how to live your life successfully under any circumstances or conditions whatsoever…
Today, I am going out to get a new tire for my wheelbarrow. As part of the process for doing that, this morning I looked into the mirror to make sure that the neighbor kids won’t be terrified when I leave my driveway and, upon doing so, I realized that a good hat will no longer suffice to make me appear well groomed. I am beyond that stage and it is time to invest in a haircut.
Or… is it?…
At almost any other time of year, this would be a great time to get a haircut. However, in my case, for today, at least, bad hair presents a once in a lifetime conundrum. Seriously – this will only come up one time during my whole life (unless I change barbers, and maybe not even then).
On this day, the decision to get, or not to get, a haircut has become a matter of principle and priority.
Principle: Nice men should look nice. People think I am a nice man. I should look nice.
Priority: Looking nice is nice. There is money involved. Screw looking nice.
It required some thought… And so I gave it some thought…
On one hand, today, I don’t qualify for the senior discount provided by the shop that cuts my hair and makes me reasonably presentable to other members of the human race.
On the other hand, next Friday I will qualify for the senior discount.
This situation was quite disconcerting to me. I want to look nice for my wife and my dog (not so much for the cat), but looking nice comes with a price (in this case, an extra $1.50 if I do it today vs. next week).
(Let me give you a little background on something, here… Judy and I have started collecting our receipts so we can better evaluate
who spends more moneyhow we invest our hard earned funds and how we can better live within our budgetary constraints. She has a box on her desk for her receipts, and I have a box on my desk for my receipts. So far, I have one receipt for $8.34 in my box.
I’m not used to this sort of internal battle, and I was having a problem making a final decision on whether to act today or wait a week and save a buck-fifty keeping me in the “who spends more money game. It was time to break out the big guns…
…This gave me a chance to use my newly acquired “Pro-Con” decision making tool:
I quickly did so and immediately messed up the process by putting my issue in the wrong place on the form. Then, when I had made my decision, I left off my plan of action. And, finally, I put in the wrong year – should be 2015. At least I didn’t get ahead of myself…
But, be that as it may, I made the crucial decision to – well, you can see for yourself above, and I don’t want to bore you by repeating repeating my final decision…
So, now I’m going to go to my truck, which (I just remembered) has been warming up for the past two hours as I have been writing this post, and go get a new tire for my wheelbarrow.
And NOT get a haircut…
And save a dollar and fifty cents... Or maybe a bit less, since my truck has been running in place for the past two hours…
As always, Gentle Reader, if I may be of any assistance to you in the ways of living a more successful life, please don’t hesitate to contact me at one of my many personal email address: billk@sti.net.
Until next time,
Live Life Successfully Or Die Trying…
Always, The Very William H. Kammerer, Jr. Esq. (Not)
The Fashionable Me – Part One: The Correct Attire
Hello again, Gentle Reader… It’s me, back for another lesson in how to live your life successfully under any circumstances or conditions whatsoever.
Today, I am encroaching on the world of……………. Fashion.. Yes, you heard me right – I said FASHION.
Fashion is very important if you are going to be me.
Many of you don’t know, because I am basically a hermit living in the middle of just about nowhere (with no access to actual live Television or Radio, I might add), and therefore not easily accessible to you, that I have a very highly developed sense of fashion. I reek of the stuff.
Really…
It’s a mixed blessing, actually. That’s because I understand, better than most cave men in my living situation, that being fashionable can make the difference between getting ahead in life and freezing everything on your body from the hair down. That’s the blessing part…
The not so blessing part is that, even though I know and understand the importance of good fashion, I am compelled to serve myself up as an example of how not to dress, in order to save other cave men types from embarrassing their wives, girlfriends, children and pets in sensitive social situations.
With that in mind, I would like to start out this series with my number one rule of Fashion Etiquette. And, as a special extra bonus, today only, I am going to throw in at no extra charge a special extra bonus tip on grooming.
So now, without any further ado, I now present Bill Kammerer’s First Rule Of Fashion Etiquette:
BKROFE #1: Always make certain that your attire is appropriate to the situation in which you currently find yourself :
And, as promised, today’s grooming tip for the extra sophisticated cave man:
If you can’t afford a haircut, find a good hat…
Not one that only covers the very top of your head…
The only problem with a hat is that when you take it off your hair doesn’t know it’s gone…
And so, Gentle Reader, this concludes the inaugural edition of The Fashionable Me and it’s time to bid you farewell once again… But remember that I am always available to you for an emergency fashion consult.
You can reach me at billk@sti.net should you find that you need my help…
And remember – The cave man who dresses the part will never freeze his anything off…
And to read “The Domestic Me” and learn my culinary secrets, just click here…
Things With Six Strings 