The Fashionable Me – Part One: The Correct Attire

April 16, 2011

Hello again, Gentle Reader… It’s me, back for another lesson in how to live your life successfully under any circumstances or conditions whatsoever. 

Today, I am encroaching on the world of……………. Fashion.. Yes, you heard me right – I said FASHION. 

Fashion is very important if you are going to be me.

Many of you don’t know, because I am basically a hermit living in the middle of just about nowhere (with no access to actual live Television or Radio, I might add), and therefore not easily accessible to you, that I have a very highly developed sense of fashion. I reek of the stuff.


It’s a mixed blessing, actually. That’s because I understand, better than most cave men in my living situation, that being fashionable can make the difference between getting ahead in life and freezing everything on your body from the hair down. That’s the blessing part…

The not so blessing part is that, even though I know and understand the importance of good fashion, I am compelled to serve myself up as an example of how not to dress, in order to save other cave men types from embarrassing their wives, girlfriends, children and pets in sensitive social situations. 

With that in mind, I would like to start out this series with my number one rule of Fashion Etiquette. And, as a special extra bonus, today only, I am going to throw in at no extra charge a special extra bonus tip on grooming.

So now, without any further ado, I now present Bill Kammerer’s First Rule Of Fashion Etiquette:

BKROFE #1:  Always make certain that your attire is appropriate to the situation in which you currently find yourself :

It is vitally important that your attire is appropriate to the situation

And, as promised, today’s grooming tip for the extra sophisticated cave man:

If you can’t afford a haircut, find a good hat…

No time to get a haircut? Invest in a good hat...

Not one that only covers the very top of your head…

The only problem with a hat is that when you take it off your hair doesn’t know it’s gone…

If you elect to get a hat rather than a haircut, make sure you get one that tells your hair that it is leaving when you take it off...

And so, Gentle Reader, this concludes the inaugural edition of The Fashionable Me and it’s time to bid you farewell once again… But remember that I am always available to you for an emergency fashion consult.

You can reach me at should you find that you need my help…

And remember – The cave man who dresses the part will never freeze his anything off…

And to read “The Domestic Me” and learn my culinary secrets, just click here…

One Response to “The Fashionable Me – Part One: The Correct Attire”

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