How A Television Commercial Can Make Your Life Miserable…

Names are important. Almost everybody I know has a name, or, at least, an initial, and for good reason. If you don’t have a name, you can’t tell when somebody is addressing you. In fact, if you don’t have a name, nobody knows how to address you in the first place.

This situation would have the potential to make interaction with other people awkward. 

Think about some of the things that would change if you didn’t have a name…

Roll call in school:

       “Mary Smith”                         “Present”

       “John Jones”                          “Present”

       “David Munchmorton”      “Present”

        ”                              ”                  “Present

 Getting Married:

          “I, Sally Sue Grinchmeister, take you… … …Uh – I’m not sure where to go from here.”

Applying for a driver’s license:

         “Name?…Name?…Name? ”       “… Uh…Present?”

We can see why we all need some sort of handle in oder to get through life with a minimum of difficulty. 

But what if we are stuck with a name so horrible that we would rather not bother with it? Some of us can use a middle name (or initial – see link below), but some of us can’t. For example (These are actual first and middle names – not necessarily in that order – that people give their children – really)…

Carrion Abass          (Boy)

Vegas Younique      (Girl)

Dolton Emporer      (Boy)

 Stony Richard          (Girl – Yes, girl)

Rage Vader                 (Boy)

Ahmiracal Pretty     (Girl – could be worse – could be for a boy)

Love U.                         (Boy – OK, that’s not real, but it could be)

Any or all of the names listed above (or the complete lack of a name to begin with) would give someone a great reason to make a change in moniker…

…But none of them come close to having as good a reason to make a change as a guy who – seemingly – has a perfectly serviceable (even really cool – even great) name.

A name that has a really manly ring to it. 

A name that a lot of guys would pay good money to have.

Who says that a television commercial cannot change your life…


Can you imagine working at State Farm and actually having the name “Jake”?

This guy does…


His life must have become a living Hell…















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