Why I Look Different Than I Did A Month Ago


Hello again, Gentle Reader(s?)! Yes, It’s me, back for another go at writing something.

Today, I would like to fill you in on some recent conversations I have been having with various friends, neighbors, associates, and countrymen (countrypersons?).

It all started when Judy and I were with some friends and someone noticed that my face looks different than usual…

Friend: “what happened to your face?”

Me: “Why? What’s wrong with my face?”

F: “You appear to be growing a beard.”

M: “What are you talking about?”

F: “You have a beard, or, at least, sort of a beard.”

M: “I do?”

F: “yeah! Look at your reflection in the window!”

M: “Holy Spicoli! Oh man!”

Yes, I was quite taken aback by my appearance. But even more so because I hadn’t realized what had happened…

I stood there in silence as I thought back over the past couple of weeks, trying to figure out what happened. Thinking and talking to myself, I went over all of the things and events and non-events that had taken place, meals I had eaten or not eaten, the hot showers that I had not taken because we have been out of hot water for the past three weeks, the cold showers that I HAD taken because we have been out of hot water for the past three weeks, the junk phone calls I have received, the real phone calls I have received – every aspect of my life – searching my memory for anything that might possibly correspond to the date that the unusual (for me, anyway) growth on my face may have begun.

I could think of nothing. At all.

And then…

Judy said something that I couldn’t quite make out and I responded, “Huh?”

And that’s when it hit me!

I made my excuse to our friends…

M: “Well, it’s my hearing aids.”

F: “What’s your hearing aids?”

M: “The reason I have whiskers. It’s because of my hearing aids.”

F: “That’s ridiculous! How could your hearing aids cause you to grow a beard?”

M: “Well, it’s like this… When I’m wearing my hearing aids, I can hear EVERYTHING that’s going on around me or within me. Dog talking to me, flowers in the garden talking to me, ants crawling on the sidewalk, every breath I take, my heartbeat, blood circulating through my veins, me in my “outside” voice, me breathing – everything.”

F: “So?”

M: “I can hear my whiskers growing…

“…For the past couple of weeks, I haven’t been wearing my hearing aids. That being the case, I haven’t heard my whiskers growing. That being the case, I haven’t thought about shaving.

“And THAT being the case, I look like I do now.”

And that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it!

Until next time, Gentle Reader(s?)…