The Geezer Chronicles – 1: How to be a successful Geezer – Chapter One

December 10, 2018

Inspired by my dear Friend, Clyde Farnsworth – Thank you, Clyde, for opening the door. I feel obligated to go through…

It’s hard for me to believe that this time next month I will be fairly well beyond twelve years old. But I will also be fairly well not quite approaching three hundred and sixty-eight years old, so I suppose that I can take comfort in my relative youth. 

As I approach my “adult” years, I find that many of my friends are, shall I say, more mature than I. Many of them are at about equal to my own level of “maturity”. And there are a couple who are lagging behind the number of my own accumulated annual celebrations. 

I have also noted, with some trepidation, that some of the same guys are beginning to be referred to as “Geezers”. 

I was first enlightened to this by my aforementioned neighbor and friend, Clyde. (Please see the above grateful attribution.)

Clyde started referring to himself as a geezer in his annual “Christmas Letter” (email) recently. He also included some of the symptoms evident in men who have achieved that level of sophistication (geezerhood)…

One of the things of which I have (through observation) recently become aware is the propensity to absentmindedness in some of the more mature (older) members of my circle of companions in this adventure called “Life”.

Imagine my surprise when I figured out that I had recently displayed (without even trying) my own abilities in this area.

This, along with Clyde’s motivating Christmas email, has inspired me to find a way to help actual geezers believe that I can still be associated with them on a friendship basis, even though I am only fairly well beyond twelve years old. 

Hence, to that end, I have decided to open up to them in an effort to gain their respect, trust and acceptance…

Dear Geezers,

It seems that hanging around you has caused me to geez a bit myself.

Geez #1) Yesterday, Judy and I pulled into a parking place at the church. I got out of the car, locked the doors and started walking up to the front doors. Meanwhile, I noticed that Judy was not beside me – she was standing ten feet behind me, staring.

At me.

I asked her what was wrong and she said, “you do know that you left the car running, don’t you?”.

Needless to say, I was surprised. Fortunately, she had her keys and unlocked the car so I could get in and turn off the engine.

I promised to be more careful…

Geez #2) After church, we went out to breakfast at Katie’s Country Kitchen. After parking, I got out of the car, locked the doors and started walking up to the entry door.

Meanwhile, I noticed that Judy was not beside me – she was standing ten feet behind me, staring.

At me.

I asked her what was wrong and she said, “you do know that you left the car running, don’t you?”.

Needless to say, I was surprised. Fortunately, she had her keys and unlocked the car so I could get in and turn off the engine.

I promised to be more careful…

Repeat as needed…

Love,

Bill

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