I haven’t put gas in my truck in weeks. Over a month, actually, and it was almost down to half full (I like to think positively). So, about 15 minutes ago, I went out and put almost half a tank of gas to bring it back up to full.

Two positives, here:

1 – It was the most exciting thing I’ve done today and

2 – I made sure to get it done before the prices fall again.

I would say, “Be still my heart,” but I’m afraid that it might…

TP

April 16, 2020

For the first time in my life, I’m praying for somebody to TP my house.

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Badly In Need…

April 16, 2020

Badly in need of a haircut… And I don’t have a bowl that will fit my head…

Almost…

April 16, 2020

I almost shaved yesterday. I know I’m going to sometime. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon. And for the rest of my life…

Sigh…

April 16, 2020

Alas, I grow weary of finding nostril hairs in my moustache…

Early-stage toilet paper – some work needed. Free to good home. Or even a bad home…

 

 

 

I refuse to acknowledge even the remotest possibility that a fitted sheet can be re-folded the way it was when you bought the thing. In fact, I don’t believe it was ever folded that way in the first place. I think they inject some sort of drug into the package that makes you think it’s folded.

BK

I really prefer standing to sitting when I get the chance. I’m not a fan of sitting. People don’t seem to understand that, and when I am asked why I don’t sit down, I just tell them that I can’t stand sitting… BK

One day, Adam and Eve were strolling along enjoying the beautiful garden in which they lived. As they walked, they discussed their lives together and how every day was perfect when it dawned on Eve that time just, sort of, ran together.

After a few minutes of quiet contemplation, she turned to her husband and asked, “Adam, do you know what day it is?” Adam thought for a minute and replied, “Of course, my love. Don’t you?” “No, my poopywoopykins, I really don’t. The days all run together and it’s hard to remember which one is which. It’s almost as if we are retired, or something.”

Adam considered her response for a moment, “Why, my little sweetums,” he said, “it’s New Years, Eve.”

Happy New Year!

The astounding lack of structural integrity of the set is more than compensated for by the courageous lack of fear of the substantial use of Duct Tape.

BK

Hello, again, Gentle Reader(s?),

Today, we are going to present a new form of “how to wake up in the morning by drinking something that will definitely open your eyes“.

As you know, I have been trying, with some, unfortunately, recent success, I might add,  to make myself a decent cup of coffee for about the last year and a half.  You may be wondering why my success is unfortunate. Here’s why:

While visiting friends, we were offered a cup of coffee. Now, I have had Patricia’s coffee in the past, and it’s GREAT! Especially when I compare it to my own attempts at brewing. 

I found myself inquiring as to what she does to make her coffee taste so good, while mine tastes like they make it in the Navy, and she kindly showed me. It involves two things…

  1. Medium Blend coffee (I had been brewing Dark Blend)

  2. Heavy Whipping Cream

On the way home, Judy and I stopped by the grocery store and purchased…

  1. Patricia’s brand of Medium Blend coffee

  2. Somewhat less than 50 gallons of Heavy Whipping Cream

Upon arrival home, I threw on a pot of the new coffee and mixed in some of the newly acquired cream. It was GOOD!!! 

I was in Coffee Heaven…

Every day for the past two months, I have been enjoying my coffee each morning and/or afternoon. It’s been great!

So, what’s so unfortunate, you ask?

During that time, I have gained about 10 pounds. Sadly, I fear that this has something to do with the Heavy Whipping Cream that I have been adding to the brew, and it has forced me to confront the necessity of, either buying new pants or losing the weight. 

 

 

clamnog.jpg

Thanksgiving day has passed. The leftovers are in the refrigerator, and the bathroom scale has been safely hidden away for the next three months…

Today is the last day of the month. Tomorrow, it will be gone. No matter how you want it, no matter where you search for it, no matter how you try to make it stay, in the end, you will realize that there is no vember…

Hello, Again, Gentle Reader(s?),

Yes, it is, once again, time for another lesson in the magnificent world of… Language

Language is, to me, anyway, an interesting thing. Just think of all the things we could not do without  Language. (For your benefit, I have provided a partial list of those things below.)

  1. Talk
  2. Listen to somebody talking
  3. Get mad at somebody for something they said
  4. Get mad at somebody for something they didn’t say but should have said
  5. Put in your  earbuds and turn up the music when somebody obnoxious walks into the room
  6. Write a letter, a note, an email or even a text message
  7. Receive unsolicited sales calls
  8. And, possibly, the most tragic consequence of all, you would not be reading this blog po

Banned After 10:00 PM…

November 8, 2019

Judy has banned me from telling jokes between the hours of 10:00 PM and 8:00 AM because she can’t sleep if she is laughing. I will say, though, that it’s fun to see her get mad at me while she is laughing out loud…