Opening Scenes to Books That I will Never Write – Chapter 8: What Day Is It?

One day, Adam and Eve were strolling along enjoying the beautiful garden in which they lived. As they walked, they discussed their lives together and how every day was perfect when it dawned on Eve that time just, sort of, ran together.

After a few minutes of quiet contemplation, she turned to her husband and asked, “Adam, do you know what day it is?” Adam thought for a minute and replied, “Of course, my love. Don’t you?” “No, my poopywoopykins, I really don’t. The days all run together and it’s hard to remember which one is which. It’s almost as if we are retired, or something.”

Adam considered her response for a moment, “Why, my little sweetums,” he said, “it’s New Years, Eve.”

Happy New Year!

The Domestic Me – The Culinary Somebody Else: Episode Four – Tired of Coffee? Try THIS

Hello, again, Gentle Reader(s?),

Today, we are going to present a new form of “how to wake up in the morning by drinking something that will definitely open your eyes“.

As you know, I have been trying, with some, unfortunately, recent success, I might add,  to make myself a decent cup of coffee for about the last year and a half.  You may be wondering why my success is unfortunate. Here’s why:

While visiting friends, we were offered a cup of coffee. Now, I have had Patricia’s coffee in the past, and it’s GREAT! Especially when I compare it to my own attempts at brewing. 

I found myself inquiring as to what she does to make her coffee taste so good, while mine tastes like they make it in the Navy, and she kindly showed me. It involves two things…

  1. Medium Blend coffee (I had been brewing Dark Blend)

  2. Heavy Whipping Cream

On the way home, Judy and I stopped by the grocery store and purchased…

  1. Patricia’s brand of Medium Blend coffee

  2. Somewhat less than 50 gallons of Heavy Whipping Cream

Upon arrival home, I threw on a pot of the new coffee and mixed in some of the newly acquired cream. It was GOOD!!! 

I was in Coffee Heaven…

Every day for the past two months, I have been enjoying my coffee each morning and/or afternoon. It’s been great!

So, what’s so unfortunate, you ask?

During that time, I have gained about 10 pounds. Sadly, I fear that this has something to do with the Heavy Whipping Cream that I have been adding to the brew, and it has forced me to confront the necessity of, either buying new pants or losing the weight. 

 

 

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Wondering Aimlessly 4: Where Has The Time Gone?

Thanksgiving day has passed. The leftovers are in the refrigerator, and the bathroom scale has been safely hidden away for the next three months…

Today is the last day of the month. Tomorrow, it will be gone. No matter how you want it, no matter where you search for it, no matter how you try to make it stay, in the end, you will realize that there is no vember…

The linguist Me – 2: What If There Was No Such Thing As Language?

Hello, Again, Gentle Reader(s?),

Yes, it is, once again, time for another lesson in the magnificent world of… Language

Language is, to me, anyway, an interesting thing. Just think of all the things we could not do without  Language. (For your benefit, I have provided a partial list of those things below.)

  1. Talk
  2. Listen to somebody talking
  3. Get mad at somebody for something they said
  4. Get mad at somebody for something they didn’t say but should have said
  5. Put in your  earbuds and turn up the music when somebody obnoxious walks into the room
  6. Write a letter, a note, an email or even a text message
  7. Receive unsolicited sales calls
  8. And, possibly, the most tragic consequence of all, you would not be reading this blog po