Cow Facts Trilogy – Part Four (4): A Cow By Any Other Name…

June 15, 2011

Everybody likes cows, or, at least they should. That’s because cows are eminently likable. They are gentle creatures who, if they live in California at least, are happy to make us milk and cheese and cream and other dairy products.

Also, properly prepared, they taste good.

Cows have all sorts of wonderful qualities and attributes. Where would we be without them? Think of all of the things that we would be missing without cows (other than the obvious, I mean)…

  • Cowards – without cows, they would just be “Ards” – and who wants to be one of those?
  • CowcatcherWithout cows, we couldn’t tell if we were talking about railroads or baseball.
  • Cow Pie – without our beloved cows, we would just have pies.  Hmm.. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing…

And perhaps worst of all,

  • Cowboys – without cows, they would just be “Boys”

    • Think about that – we would have to endure an endless stream of “Boy” movies and “Boy” songs and “Boy” tales.

Yes, cows are a part of our every day lives, and we don’t often stop to think about that. So the next time you put on a pair of shoes, thank a cobbler. And if they are leather shoes, thank a cow…

But there are some things that a cow just cannot do

  • A cow cannot shoot pool.
  • A cow cannot engage in a round of thumb wrestling.
  • A cow cannot shuffle a deck of cards.

But even if a cow could, somehow, be taught to do one or more of those things, there is one thing that a cow can never, ever, ever, in any universe, do…  

A cow cannot, under any circumstances, smell good.

Let’s face it – cows stink.

And because they offend the typical human olfactory senses, they are passed over for many opportunities which are available to people who don’t smell half as bad as the typical cow. (Is that fair? I’ll leave it to you to decide – I’m just reporting the facts, here.)

And this will be our jumping off point for the next installment of The Cow Facts Trilogy…



  Click here to go to Part 6 (Which used to be part 5, but was demoted. Don’t ask. Just go there.) 

4 Responses to “Cow Facts Trilogy – Part Four (4): A Cow By Any Other Name…”

  1. rickhelm Says:

    You have entirely too much time on your hands. It’s a good thing you write so well.

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