Fire Update: The Recovery Commences…

Judy just opened the box containing her new desk.. I am always afraid when I see the words “Some Assembly Required”…

The first instruction is:

1.   You will need wood (W-951) to assemble this desk (D-666) – Please see part No. A-01: Seed.

1a.  Using shovel (A-437), dig hole (H-943)

1b.  Insert seed (A-01) into hole (H-943) and cover with dirt (D-02)

1c.  Water as needed (W-298) and wait for wood to appear.

1d.  Then proceed with assembly of Desk (D-666).

Max is lucky he doesn’t have opposable thumbs… I am not so fortunate…

Family reunion leftovers

Last year we had a bunch of things left at our house after KFR – shoes, sunglasses, baby toys and even a really crusty pair of socks.. This year it’s food..

We are never going to be able to eat 7 gallons of ice cream, a 10 pound cheese cake, 4 dozen hot dogs and 2 dozen bananas (before they go bad).. We’ve been eating leftover pasta all week and there’s still about two weeks worth of breakfast, lunch, dinner, desert and in-between meal snacks of the stuff.. And there’s still some birthday cake.. And we’ve given away as much as anybody will take..

I’m not hungry any more.

So why did we spend $150.00 at the grocery store tonight?

Pool For Sale. Cheap.

Hello again – Kammerer here…

Some of you may remember that last year we had a family reunion at our house, and that, just prior to that FR, Judy and I sort of inherited a 5×18 swimming pool.

It had belonged to Jennifer and Dean, our beloved daughter and son-in-law. They had bought the thing and had it errected in the backyard of the house they were living in at the time, but moved before they ever filled it with water. This, of course, made it a “new” pool, having never been swum (swam? swimmed?) in.

Upon moving, they decided that the pool would not be usable any longer and they decided to rid themselves of the item all together.

The problem with the pool was not that there was a problem with the pool, but that the house into which they moved had a much bigger one planted in the ground in the back yard. This made the large above-ground brand new never been swam (swimmed? swum?) in pool a bit obsolete for their tastes.

Well, so as not to bore you with all of the in-between details, it ended up at our house via our son, Billy, and his lovely wife, Lacey.

As I mentioned above, we were in the preparing stages of the 3rd annual Kammerer Family ho-down at our house, so we put it up and had it ready for the big event.

For a short diary of the events immediately after the assembly of the pool, click here…

For a somewhat less short chronicle of how to empty the pool once you’re ready to take it down, click here…

As it happens, we are now two weeks away from this year’s event, and we are way behind in the getting ready department.  (In fairness, we have had a lot going on this year, including, but not limited to, reconfiguration of some of the property around the house.  I still have a lot of work getting the trails in the back yard in shape – walking on some of them is like skiing – very slippery – lots of oak leaves everywhere.  And the grass is hip deep in some areas back there, so I’m doing a lot of weed-whacking.. But I digress…)

Well, this year we aren’t going to put up the pool. In fact, There is now a shed standing right in the middle of where the pool was standing last year, and much of the pool is currently cluttering up – I mean – standing inside the shed.

So, I’ve decided that I’m going to raffle it off at this year’s KFR in two weeks.  Here’s how I see the raffle going down (the rules)

  1. All living members of the Kammerer family will have their names put into an appropriate container. This container will be called “The Loser’s Bin”.        (This includes ones who don’t show up.)
  2. Everybody who does show up will have the option of selecting the size of paper on which they want their name to appear. (The larger the size the less chance of driving home with a swimming pool in the back of your car.)
  3. All non-attending relatives will have their names written on something about the size of a fortune-cookie fortune, making it difficult to find amongst all of the poster-sized names in the bin, thereby enhancing their opportunities to obtain the pool.
  4. Every two minutes throughout the weekend, Max, our dog, will reach in with his mouth and pull out a name.
  5. That name will be placed in a “winner’s” bin.
  6. All names in the “winner’s” bin will immediately become exempt from the raffle.
  7. The last name left in the Loser’s Bin becomes the owner of the pool with all rights, privileges and entitlements that go along with that honor (including the bill for shipping it to your house).
  8. You do not have to be present to lose.

Obviously, if you show up for the party you stand a better chance of not getting stuck with the pool.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of Kammerer relatives and with a drawing every two minutes throughout the weekend, there may not be enough time to get through all of the names in the Loser’s Bin.  If this happens, there will not be a loser and I may retain ownership. Hence, the reason for this posting…

Anybody want a 5 x 18 above ground pool at a really good price?  It’s really in pretty good shape, though it’s going to need to be cleaned up pretty well.

The Pool Diaries

Day 1 –

This pool is a test. This is only a test. If this had been an acutal pool, it would have come with a pool man… Or a pool woman… Or a pool kid… Or even a skimmer with a pole…

Day 2 –

Why does the water in the pool look like it was put there by a herd of incontinent horses?

Day 3 –

The leak seems to have abated a bit.. I wonder if there is a way to apply a patch under water… I have invented a way in my mind… All I need is a large tupperware container, some glue, some gasket material, a saw and some duct tape…

Judy just got home and asked me if the leak has stopped… It’s more of a long damp streak now…

Day 4 –

I just tested the new skimmer with the four’ telescoping handle… I skimmed up three dead grasshoppers, four leaves and some other as yet unknown type of bug… I’m excited…

Day 5 –

I have discovered that there are actually two deep ends of the pool… There seems to be some sort of hump in the middle… I wonder if it’s one of the horses… Serves it right…

Day 6 – The filter has been running for four days straight… Two and a half days with chlorine … The water doesn’t seem quite as yellow this morning… Seems to have a slightly greenish tinge to it… Does anybody know if that’s a good thing?

I put a second gallon of chlorine into the pool… I may have to actually get into the thing tomorrow to test it out…

Day 7 – I got into the puddle at about 11:00 PM and swam around (yes, I figured a way to swim in circles) for about 20 minutes.

And yes, I wore swim trunks.

Day 8 – Turned the filter back on. Added a little more water… Must be because I was thirsty at the time.

Conversations With Judy – Episode One: Pillow Talk

It was a dark and snoozy night…

It was a dark and snoozy night…

Twenty minutes ago, I was sound asleep happily dreaming of my new Sears Craftsman Model 79186 Weedwhacker Gas Trimmer with the 32cc 2-Cycle Engine, Incredi-Pull – P2 Technology, Hassle Free Cutting Head, and Convertible Attachment System*, when I was awakened by the feel of my wife’s hand groping my own hand (which was somehow vertically situated above her head, leaning up against the headboard) and following it along down to the top of my head, as if she was trying to figure out what this thing was…

And then she said, “What are YOU doing here?”

“Oh, I’m here this time most every night … What do you mean what am I doing here? Where do you think we are?”

“I’m on the couch. What are you doing standing behind it?”

“You may be on the couch, but I’m in bed asleep.”

“Really? What time is it?”

“12:53.”

Dead silence… then she started laughing and said “Sorry for waking you – I thought I was on the couch reading my book and you were the cat.”

“You woke me up for this?”

Then she went back to sleep.

Now she is sawing Zs and I’m wide awake writing this stupid story…

* Really – I was – I’m now convinced that I am no longer a teen-ager…