Sigh…

April 16, 2020

Alas, I grow weary of finding nostril hairs in my moustache…

Early-stage toilet paper – some work needed. Free to good home. Or even a bad home…

 

 

 

I refuse to acknowledge even the remotest possibility that a fitted sheet can be re-folded the way it was when you bought the thing. In fact, I don’t believe it was ever folded that way in the first place. I think they inject some sort of drug into the package that makes you think it’s folded.

BK

I really prefer standing to sitting when I get the chance. I’m not a fan of sitting. People don’t seem to understand that, and when I am asked why I don’t sit down, I just tell them that I can’t stand sitting… BK

One day, Adam and Eve were strolling along enjoying the beautiful garden in which they lived. As they walked, they discussed their lives together and how every day was perfect when it dawned on Eve that time just, sort of, ran together.

After a few minutes of quiet contemplation, she turned to her husband and asked, “Adam, do you know what day it is?” Adam thought for a minute and replied, “Of course, my love. Don’t you?” “No, my poopywoopykins, I really don’t. The days all run together and it’s hard to remember which one is which. It’s almost as if we are retired, or something.”

Adam considered her response for a moment, “Why, my little sweetums,” he said, “it’s New Years, Eve.”

Happy New Year!

Thanksgiving day has passed. The leftovers are in the refrigerator, and the bathroom scale has been safely hidden away for the next three months…

Today is the last day of the month. Tomorrow, it will be gone. No matter how you want it, no matter where you search for it, no matter how you try to make it stay, in the end, you will realize that there is no vember…

Banned After 10:00 PM…

November 8, 2019

Judy has banned me from telling jokes between the hours of 10:00 PM and 8:00 AM because she can’t sleep if she is laughing. I will say, though, that it’s fun to see her get mad at me while she is laughing out loud…

Wow… Why is it so much later than it is?

BK

I’m uncomfortable in large crowds especially when I’m by myself, in which case, I guess, there aren’t a lot of people around so why be uncomfortable?

Given the choice between eating fish and sitting on a cactus, I would probably select the fish… But not by much..

Sometimes you have to stub your toe to realize that it doesn’t hurt when you don’t…

Judy, rushing out the door to make an appointment (35 miles away) to have the oil changed in her car…

Judy: “I have to run! I don’t want to be late! Pray that I have gas!”

Me: “Dear Lord, please give Judy gas. Amen.”

I guess prayer really does work…

Irreconcilable Differences…

September 8, 2019

Now, this is really disturbing… 

accordion and guitar world

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Hello, again Gentle Reader(s?),

Somebody, somewhere, says that some days are easier than others. At least, that’s what I have been told.

The following is a true story and I have the pictures to prove it… In fact, I think I’ll just let the pictures speak for themselves and save you the effort of reading the approximately 11,000 words that would be required to tell the story.

I will, however, just mention how this started. 

We needed a board. A 2 x 4, to be exact. There. It’s started…

board.jpg

 

There. Definitive proof that I have the mechanical ability of a cumquat.